IT jokes
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking you.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
My boyfriend recently asked me to suck his cock. I was kinda nervous because I’ve never tasted a dick, but he said it doesn’t taste that bad, so I’ll give it a shot.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Are you kidding? Feminists can’t change anything.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me when he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
Was ist der Lieblingssport eines Deutschen?
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.