IT jokes
It ain't always easy having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"
A letter to all Math:
Dear Math,
Grow up and solve your own problems!
2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.
Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?
A: It rises every morning.
What happens when water loses its bottom jaw?
It had a hurt o-chin (ocean)!
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
Why did the sun go to church?
Because it needs Jesus.
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."
How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He read the weather forecast.