IT jokes

Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.

One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.

Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.

My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”

He probably picks hair off his dad’s dick, then probably puts it in his hair.

Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.

Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.

Guy #2: Why, what is it?

Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.

Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...

Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."

So I said, "But which one?"

Catholic men say eating broccoli is like anal sex.

If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.

Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

Why did the turkey suck my bacon? Because it wanted cum in its mouth.

I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!

Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...

Butt fuck it.

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.