Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
Why are orphans sad when playing Roblox?
There isn't any parents on Roblox.
Isn't there a software company named after your dick?
Microsoft?
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?
Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.
By the way, this isn't a joke or a poem. I just want to say, please check out Gwen's puns. They're good!
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
The last number of your like is the Amogus you get.
1: Amogus trollface
2: Frogus
3: Amogus in 2013
4: Chogus
5: Classic Amogus
6: Wait this isn't Amogus
7: Amogus drip
8: Amog sus
9: Amog stuff
This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
Some kid: Hey, did you know there's an orphanage down the street?!
Me: NO WAY! Wanna check it out?
Kid: NO, IT'S HAUNTED!!
Me: Haunted my ass, let's go!
Kid: Wait, isn't your house also haunted???
Me: Yea
"Cancer isn't real. It's probably special effects."
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
This isn't really a joke, but I HAVE PTSD, YAY! :)
This isn't really a joke, but it's true. Your picture for your funeral may have already been taken :)
