Isnt

Isnt jokes

Lipstick

    • The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

    Titty

    • So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ, my titties, and then I saw the most a shoe got shoveled all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE'S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched the guy, got smacked in the face, went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF are you staring at?" I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I thought this, "This isn't over motherfucker, I'm gonna find you and kill you." Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital. They told me, "Why tf were you fighting a stop sign?" I said, "What? You were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign?" I said, "Bitch, I ain't crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka"

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    • Mom

    • Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.

    Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol

    Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!

    Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD

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    • The talk

    • A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."

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    • Brother

    • Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

    Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

    Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

    Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

    Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

    Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

    Brother 2: You monster.

    Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

    Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

    Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

    Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

    Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

    Brother 1: Found them.

    *imaginary mother and brother fade away*

    Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

    Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

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    • Butterfly

    • One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

    Mom: "No you can't..."

    Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"

    lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.

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    • Cartoon

    • When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?

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    • Tree

    • It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.

    Most foresters have a wooden personality.

    Snack

    • J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.

    Guy: Oh, what is it?

    J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.

    Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?

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    • Nun

    • Why do nuns walk in groups?

    So one “nun” can keep an eye on the other “nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting "nun".

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    • Period

    • Daughter: So, I got my period.

    Mom: That's wonderful, dear! Now you can bleed for a whole week a month without dying!

    Daughter: That's nice, Mum, but isn't the whole point of getting your period dying?

    Mom: Yes, but you have to kill yourself a little longer to live through to another day.

    Daughter: Thanks, Mum. That makes a whole lot of sense. (Sarcastically.)

    Mom: You're welcome, honey. (Clueless, obviously.)

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