My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
Say no to drugs, kids. Suddenly, the poster disappeared. I hallucinated. Must have been the cocaine.
My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
MY grandfather said that is was to reliant on technology i called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
My grandfather said we rely on technology too much, so I unplugged his life support. Luckily, I remember his last words: "You little bastard!"
I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.