Insult jokes

Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.

You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.

And your IQ is 5.

Dear Slim Shady,

balls.

An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

You are fat.

Yo mama so fat the scale said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."

Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."

"Yo mama's so fat that when she farts, Al Gore accuses her of global warming."

If BLESSEDBRIAN were any more inbred, he’d be a SANDWICH.

Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!

Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.

I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.

Yo momma so dumb, she got kicked off the short bus.

Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!

"Get your butt out of my face!"

"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

What do you call a feminazi that has a dick the size of a Vienna Sausage?

Fudge Packer.

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

Hell you fuck, bitch, dick!

My grandpa and your hairline go way back.