Insult

Insult jokes

Redhead

WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.

  • 7
  • Mama

    Yo mama so dumb, she sold her car for gas money.

    Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.

  • 3
  • McDonald's

    Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"

    Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"

    Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."

  • 1
  • Weight

    I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

    Weight

    "You look like you've lost some weight."

    "Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

    Life

    bully: "Your life's a joke."

    me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."

    Mum

    Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.

    Guy

    A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

    Taste

    I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

    I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

    I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

    Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

    You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

    Mom

    What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

    They both suck.