Insult jokes

You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Yo mama so dumb, she sold her car for gas money.

Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.

WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.

Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"

Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"

Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."

My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.

My girlfriend called me pedophile today.

Big word for a 12-year-old.

Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.

You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Yo mama so ugly!

The mime broke his 30 year streak of silence!!!!

bully: "Your life's a joke."

me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

Yo mama so ugly she the reason why Slender Man has no eyes.

A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

Your adopted.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.