Insult jokes

The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."

The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."

My friend: "Yo, stupid."

Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"

My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."

Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."

So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"

A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"

I would roast you but burning trash is bad for the environment.

Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.

My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"

Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Kid: "I fucked your mom."

Orphan: "What's a mom?"

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.

My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.

Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”

Q: What do you call a pervert with no legs?

A: A creepy crawly.

What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.