Insult jokes

You are so ugly, Hello Kitty had to say bye-bye.

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"

My friend: "Yo, stupid."

Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"

My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."

Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."

So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.

"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"

"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"

And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:

"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"

Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"

I would roast you but burning trash is bad for the environment.

Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.

My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"

yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

Kid: "I fucked your mom."

Orphan: "What's a mom?"

Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.

My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”

Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.