Insult jokes

Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.

You are so ugly, Hello Kitty had to say bye-bye.

My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"

My friend: "Yo, stupid."

Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"

My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."

Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.

I would roast you but burning trash is bad for the environment.

yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."

Kid: "I fucked your mom."

Orphan: "What's a mom?"

Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

Yo mamma is so slutty, she uses a submarine as a dildo because it's long, hard, and filled with seamen.

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.

My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”

Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.