A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"
I would roast you but burning trash is bad for the environment.
Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
The depressed kid getting bullied.
The bully: "You are useless."
The depressed kid: "I know."
Yo mama is so ugly she's the reason why Batman fights crime at night.
yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Kid: "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
Bully: Hey virgin!
Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.
Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Victim: Just wait nine months.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”
Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
What do you call a flat-chested emo? A cutting board.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.
