Insult

Insult Jokes

Lawyer

A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"

Mom

Your mom's so fat that One Punch Man had to take two punches.

Dick

The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."

The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."

Bullying

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

Female

My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"

Yo mama

yo mama so stupid she climbed up a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Comeback

Bully: Hey virgin!

Victim: I'm not a virgin, just ask your sister.

Bully: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Victim: Just wait nine months.

Girlfriend

What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?

One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.

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  • Kelly Clarkson

    Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".

    (And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)

    Mistake

    If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.

    Yo mama

    Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”

  • 9
  • Redhead

    WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.

  • 7
  • Sky

    You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."

    Yo mama

    Your mama is so ugly that her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.