Insult jokes
"Ur Mater."
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!
Pretend you're an orphan and I'm telling you a joke:
Your mom.
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.
What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
"Zre, um, be careful when using a gun, okay? And meh not fat, boy."
Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.
Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Timmy: *starts crying*
Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.
It would be a miracle if someone figured out the length of your hairline.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
Your mother.
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
Your mom's a whore, and so are you!
Yo mama is so old that she had the first written copy of the Bible.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Your hairline is farther back than the Mexican border.