INS jokes
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
A Texan and an Alaskan walk into a room, and the Alaskan says, "My state is bigger." Then the Texan says, "It won't be when it melts."
Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.
Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."
Who thinks Gwen and dumb bitch prince should *STOP* dating! AND LET THE REAL LOVERS *Gwen and Aiden* RESUME TO *LOVE* SAY ME IN THE COMMENTS SO NOT!!!!!!!!
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
You have to tell this to a friend:
There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10
I believe in a woman's right to choose...
...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
An African man visits his friend in the US.
“I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”
“You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.
“Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”
I wish the grass in my yard was emo. It could just cut itself.
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"
The legs are soft and delicious.
How much can you earn in Selkan Toko Na Sinsel? Njpopularnijssa bronia jost. My grandma was already eto nasaba of the other sachan without me. Then you will be satisfied.
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
What’s harder than steel?
Michael Jackson in a playground.
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."
Your hairline is in a different area code.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.