INS jokes
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns.
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
What do autistics, women, and chinks have in common? They can't fuckin' drive.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
Gun
Why are your eyes blue? Cuz they have food coloring in them.
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?
I don't usually make 9/11 jokes. They always go down in flames.
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
Who is white, hairy, and rusty in the tree?
It's Rambo Rabbit with a big gun that was.
"The legend says Tinker Bell was good in jerkin' off Peter with her tiny fingers, but it pains me to think that Captain Hook was a closeted-sadist boyfriend."
A bully told an orphan to cry to his parents, so he did.
His adoptive parents were very supportive about the situation, and everything was settled. He died in an accident a day later.
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.