INS jokes
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
Yo forehead is so big it couldn't even fit in the United States.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, “Who created the Earth?” And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, “MY GOD!” And the teacher says, “Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth.” Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, “Where do you go after you live a good life?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, “HEAVENS TO BETSY!” And the teacher says, “Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life.” Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, “What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?” and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around, and says, “If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” And the teacher faints.
What’s another name for cumming in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
The other day I was in the park and got bored, so I found an orphan and punched him in the face, laughed at him, and said, "Whatcha gonna do, tell your parents?"
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a hostage?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
Uranus is up in the sky today.
What’s worse than five babies in a dumpster?
One baby in five dumpsters.