INS jokes
Guys, I guess with all these storms there was a power cut in his house.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a car in my garage.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.
Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
What's two lesbians in a tent?
A finger hut.
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
Am I in Florida, because I'm triggered?
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"