INS jokes
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day. Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” shouts Molly.
“Correct,” says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, “Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?”
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack’s pencil.
“Jesus Christ almighty!” she shouts.
“Correct again,” says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, “What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?”
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams “If you stick that thing in me one more time I’m going to crack it in half!”
Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
Kid starts short-coming people in school. Teacher asks, "Why are you doing that?"
He responds, "I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas!"
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
I put the D in Children.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.
I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What’s the difference between 80 dead babies and a Lambo? I don’t have a Lambo in my garage.
Why is a cabbage green? Because it's in Greenland.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.