INS jokes

I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...

I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."

What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?

UNPROTECTED SEX.

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Phew, it's hot in here." The other muffin says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

At what speed is the curry going at?

In a hurry to the curry, man!

Roses are red, I like girls from the South, a 425-pound teacher gets suspended after sitting on a kid's head and farting in his mouth.

I was remembering the time when I lost my brother, only until I heard that hide and seek wasn't the best idea, especially in a secluded parking lot in downtown.

Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

Two cows in a field.

One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"

The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"

Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.

So my friend's birthday was coming up, so I got him a new box to live in.

I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"

I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.

The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"

"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."