INS jokes
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he.
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
What is the thirstiest ocean in the world?
The Gulf of Mexico lol!
Hey guys! It's Triple G. You can give me more ideas on jokes, mainly Fish and Sea jokes, as those are the jokes I specialize and only do best on in the comment section below. Please do feel free to thumbs down and comment on improvements, as well as thumbsing up and saying what you liked! :)
Au revoir, GGG
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Yo momma is like a penny...
Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
Bully: Ur Gay.
Me: I'M STRAIGHTER THAN THE LINE IN OSAMA BIN LADIN'S PLAN.
Bully: *runs away and hears crash*
Hey girl, are you a wizard? Because you cast lit in my Final Fantasy!
There were three people on the third floor of a building. The first one took a bite of an apple, then said it was too hard, so he threw it out the window. The second person took a bite of a lemon. He said it was too sour, so he threw it out the window. The third guy was drunk. He took a bite of a grenade and thought it was too crunchy, so he threw it out the window.
Then one of them went downstairs. He saw a dog laying on the ground dead. The apple had hit the dog in the head. Then there was a little girl crying with her cat in her lap. It had died because the lemon fell out the window and hit it in the head. Next, there was an old guy laughing. I asked him why he was laughing. He said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up."