INS jokes
Your mum is so fat, when she sat in a monster truck, it turned into a lowrider.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common? I don't care if she has one.
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
What has a kid with cancer and Peter Pan in common?
They will never grow up.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."
What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?
"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."
What goes in dry and comes out wet?
A dick.
What’s worse than five babies in a dumpster?
One baby in five dumpsters.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Willis.
Willis who?
Willis dick fit in yo mouth?!
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Do you know what I found in my letter soup? A space.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.
Trashy pig woman: Why?
Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.