INS jokes
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
Because they'll get a hole in one!
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Why don't orphans do homework?
They don't have a home to do it in.
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
😂😂😂😂
What do a blonde and a cow have in common?
They're both fat af.
A Russian walked into a bar... unlucky for him, in Soviet Russia, you don’t walk into bars. Bars walk into you.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
What's black and white and red all over????? A zebra in a blender!
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"