INS jokes
"Eeee, is a time for a tree night out to a tree. 🌲 I can fly to the earth day to day day one night type and a walk in and a tree."
What makes it cold in a room? Air conditioning.
I had a glass of Schweppes lemonade in one hand and a glass of R. Whites in the other. I got into a hot sweat. I think I have Corona Virus.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
A woman walks into a doctor's office. She schedules an appointment and sits down in the waiting room. When it's her turn to talk to the doctor, she describes all of her symptoms, and they're unlike anything he's heard before. The doctor runs a few tests and steps out of the room. He comes back later, and says, "Well, I have good news and bad news." The woman says, "I'll hear the good news first please." The doctor replies, "The good news is we're naming a disease after you!"
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
A boy was following me for 8 years, even into the stall. I finally told him I’m not gay.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry in front of me, or else I'll cry!"
What does an eighty-year-old woman have in between her boobs that a twenty-year-old woman doesn't?
A belly button.
What is a nut that is in outer space?
A broken nut.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.