INS jokes
After every line, say “I’m a man.”
I went to the club. (I’m a man)
I met a girl. (I’m a man)
I took her to the bar. (I’m a man)
We got some drinks. (I’m a man)
I took her home. (I’m a man)
We got in bed. (I’m a man)
She whispered in my ear... (I’m a man)
What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.
What do you (anyone) and a joke not have in common?
Jokes have meanings.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
There was once a man from Peru. Who fell asleep in a canoe. While dreaming of Venus, He played with his penis, And awoke with a hand full of goo.
Yo mama’s official weight (in tonnes)
99593927273949592827385959599282738595939282759593827395828192948472937593817294728275957292739584728459398284854982835884838285849292857483838385838294958483823884958383947391959593817495827394858272959573939488492949595837829374758483848497483919396849294858203957293858930375938475937393949292949848215722935375838283848382883839393949583929459939294949493928174759284759927495910305838385848292958293959.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Why did the orphan start crying?
Because his apple found a home in his stomach.
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
Stop hating on pedos. At least they drive slow in school zones.
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.
Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
On this website, I just searched up "My jokes". In response, it said, "No jokes found." Wth.
Q: What is a Karen called in Europe?
A: An American.
Where did the king put his armies?
In his sleevies.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
What word starts with M and ends in RAGE? Miscarriage.
That joke never gets old... but neither does the baby...;)