INS jokes
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.
Kid: Runs home.
A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...
If you know, you know.
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
What do you tell someone who has depression?
Answer: Just hang in there.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
The "P" in Batman stands for parents.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they all sit in the dark.
How did they lose 2 Towers?
Reason: They just fell, just like how it did in Jenga.
(I d*n't care if it's a bad joke, ok?)
"9/11 was not funny; it was plane wrong because my dad was the best fucking pilot in Jeddah."
9/11 pilots are the best readers.
They went through 30 stories in less than an hour.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
I got kicked out of the library for putting the Women's Rights book in the fantasy section.
I want to die at a party. This is because nobody can be sad over me.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Friend: Why?
Me: Because they don't have a mother or father's day.