INS jokes
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.
I'm 14. I have had sex before. I have 206 bones in my body, but when I'm with my gf, I have 207.
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?
Me: *silence*
A nun going down a water shoot? She never felt so wet in all her life!
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”
That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].
"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).