INS jokes
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Your hair goes so far back in time, even cavemen saw it!
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.
So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
Why is hangman always done in black ink?
To make it more realistic.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...
At night time, in Africa, it's known as the darkest country. Till this day, I still wonder why.
Yo momma so dumb that she thought Auradon was in "Varian And The Seven Kingdoms."
I’m about to tell you the funniest joke I heard:
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The operator then hears the problem and says, “Well, let’s make sure he’s dead.” A shot is then heard. The other guy says, “Ok, now what?”
Did you laugh?
Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!
Some guy: making a sandwich.
Me: *rages* to put the ham in!
My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.
Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
Osama Bin Laden thrown in ocean!
People who helped with the Twin Towers destruction: ...
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
Yo mama so fat, she was the lead balloon in the Thanksgiving day parade next to Kermit the Frog.