INS jokes

An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"

What do strippers and peanut butter have in common?

They both like oil.

Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?

What does the "W" stand for in Africa?

Water. Too bad there's no "W" in Africa.

So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?

Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.

Did you hear about the boy who got raped by a group of women in the park whilst jogging? Now there are lots of male joggers in the area.

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.

Unless you are in prison.

What do you call a transgender person in a wheelchair?

An Autobot.

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

What's common between a feminist and a knife?

They both stay in the kitchen.

One thing that Miles Morales and Black men have in common is that they're both rip-offs.

Where do rape victims live?

In kennels.

What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?

His head and shoulders.

Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

Yo mama so fat that she walked in front of the TV, and I missed a whole episode of iCarly.

America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"

UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.

America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖