Infant jokes
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
"What's worse than 10 dead babies stapled to a tree?"
"What?"
"1 dead baby stapled to 10 trees!"
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
"Stupid ass baby."
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
You drown it.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.