Industry jokes

Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!

Too bad it's a dying trade. :)

What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!

You wanna hear a construction joke?

I'm still workin' on it!

I work at a tire shop.

I'm pretty tired.

Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?

I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.

Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?

Well, they aren't.

Why?

They aren't repeated customers.

Porn.

Is Will Smith a blacksmith?

No wonder some of the phones today have no home buttons.

The makers were orphans.

I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.

Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.

- I work with animals.

- Great! What job?

- A butcher.

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

"Beat it. We’re closed."

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?

"A satisfactory."

Why don't rappers ever become bankers?

Because they always break the BARS!

Why did the rapper open a bakery?

Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.

I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

Why did the rapper always carry a map?

So he could navigate his way through the rap game.