How do rappers keep themselves clean?
They drop SOAP BARS.
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
So he could navigate his way through the rap game.
For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.
In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).
During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.
Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
"A satisfactory."
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill?
She was too used to grabbing the tip.
"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"
What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?
Michelin.
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
"Beat it. We’re closed."
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
I didn't come into the prostitution business...
It came into me.
"Dababy midget porn."
- I work with animals.
- Great! What job?
- A butcher.
Why is the Azovstal Steel Plant important to the Russian?
Because it stores Zelensky's balls of steel!
