hi im bob
why does my girlfriend have a dick oh wait im gay
Hi stone, im watching
Little Johnny was playing with dick when his teacher walked in the room. She asked him what he was doing, he said Im doing my homework. The teacher saw how big his cock was and asked him to have sex with her. He willingly did so. Little johnny was already 25 so it didn't matter. The only thing was that he was homeschooled.
i love murder shows... wish me luck cause im kinda hoping to be on one one day
Q:How do you get a squirrle to like yopu A:Act like a nut 😂
Q:Why dont eggs tell jokes? A:Because they ́d crack each other up
Son:Dad can you put my shoes on?Dad:No son i dont think they would fit me Im on a sea food diet when i see food i eat it
I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me
So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says "get the belt" Johnny says "why?" His mother says "im gonna spank you for failing" Johnny says "so just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night
me sister said im stupid and im a baby and i said ohh i didnt know we were talking about you
Me telling my parents im depressed: my parents, " no, ur just a little stressed and want attention, am i right?" My depression worsoning, me: " ya ur totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....
Person 1: you are the dumbest person in the class. Person 2: well ur the second. Person 2: maybe but at least im not the dummest. Person 2: i know how to fix that! ... Next day person commits sucide...
my sister was hitting on my boyfriend im 11 shes 9 she said go f.ck ur self so i said : "ok thanks for the idea"
i told my mom that i have a crush she replied with: "so u like girls" i said: "uhm no no no " BUT im lesbian someone help how do i tell her without her hitting me with a belt??
so i walked up to my grandma and i said what color would u be on a rainbow cupcake she just turned 61 ok ok so im like 'i got i got ok ok' she like: ok what color" i say:"grey"
what did the Cheetah say to the Lion?
Im a Cheetah
Im lonely but all i have is my Cheeseburger but what is the matter of liveing if you only have one thing... but a Cheeseburger is ALL YOU NEED CAUSE IT HAS 1000000000000 BUCKS MAN SO I CANT JUST TAKE IT AND SPEND IT WHERE EVERY I WANT.
So your human huh well Im a skeleton so not much gets under my skin
If this is offending to anyone im sorry! Hey wanna see somethin funny?!?!?! go look in ur mirror
homeless person: says to rich person ''im homeless''.Rich person:''Then buy a house''
i asked my mom if i was adopted she said no why tf would i adopt you and i said im gonna kill my self and she also said make sure you do it right this time
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
