Ill Will Jokes

A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America, The Mexican man come up with some sob story and the police say all right all right ok says the police. ill let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it. The Mexicans thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says ok ok let's hear it after waiting impatiently, the Mexican said ok ok don't rush me I'm ready. The Mexican replied ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow !!!!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

two hats are next to eachother, one hat says to the other ''stay here, ill go on a head"

ill call your mom a cow but which one

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tryed to fight me so i said: IF you wanna fight me ill run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs ill already be down the stairs waiting and he started crying

My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it."

ill never forget my grandpas last words you need to park alittle closer

Once my twin brother died from a plane crash he’s last words were if its a bomb ill give it a 9/11

my dad said ill get the milk but he forgot i was i his car

Ill never forget my grampa's last words, "stop shaking the ladder you cunt"

Hoow on god's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone? JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while. I said that I have been ill

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

imagine this senario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "you have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc" and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

I remember having a crush on my math teacher so i winked at her and said "dont worry babe, ill callculater."

knock knock whos there? lettuce lettuce who? lettuce in and ill tell ya

lets tell a secret about each other...ill go first i hate you

Patient: doctor every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up what's wrong with me? Doctor: I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.