If jokes
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta-joke."
So the guy replies,
OK. There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I'll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta-joke."
So the guy replies,
OK. There was this guy going to a bar. The guy asks for a drink. The bartender replies, "Here you go!"
So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink. So he gives the guy a drink.
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."
"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"
"We're going with Trevor."
"Ok, what if it's a girl?"
"Then we'll have an abortion."
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
I'm going to piss on the floor.
Read if gay.
Aha!
How do you know if someone is anorexic? You toss them a onion ring and see if they eat it, or use it as a hula hoop.
My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."
Here are some skeleton jokes.
You know the average person tries too hard and works himself to the bone.
If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone, I can give you a real humorous joke.
I used to play the trumpet, now I play the xylo-bone.
I'm always happy; nothing gets under my skin.
I made you some turkey for lunch. Bone appetit!
I'm glad I had you; I'm no longer bonely.
I've got a skele-ton of more jokes, but I'm just giving you one more.
Did you hear about the skeleton ninja? He was very skullful (skillful)!
I have a trans friend.
He is in a polyamorous relationship and would be straight if they had a dick.
I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:
"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!