If jokes
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.
If you thought other puns were bad, wait till you sea mine.
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
If you have cancer, you are gay.
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
Stephen Hawking couldn't drink anything.
He'd break if he did.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents!