Everyone reading this is gay!
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
What does a transgender call his/her parent?
Transparent.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
What's black, anorexic, dumb, and will never get a girlfriend?
Me.
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
What do you call a nasty ass boy?
Sam Caithness.
