rapist: rape doesnt hurt anybody victim:
my brother said bruh why you so ugly plus why do you stink. me: is that supposed to be a roast i got one for you. why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother in stead of her stomach you came out of her butt that's why you were born with brown spots on your head thats her poop you stupid fuckface. my friends: ouch thats got ta hurt.
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss and they do t know what can’t hurt them.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.” Patient: “OK.” Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife.”
911 I JUST CRASHED MY CAR I THINK ITS BURNING I CAN'T SEE IT HURTS TO BREATHE
FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CANT BREATHE (I am Paul walker btw)
*COUGHS ROUGHLY* OH MY GOD IT HURTS SO MUCH I CANT SEE IT BURNS HELP !!! HELP !!! HELP !!! HELP *Weakly* !
Man goes to a doctor says he's having problems shitting so the doctor gives him so enama and says he needs to do it a few times at home but does the first one for him so the guy bends over the table lubs him up and shoves it deep in him and he yells. so later the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enama so he bends over she lubs him up puts a hand on his shouler and she shoves it up there and he starts screaming and cussing and the wife asks did I hurt u? He said no I just realized when the doctor did it he had both hands on my shoulders
Yesterday I was in a wind storm. Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was Ear-ittating.
Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! please help, please help!"
Vegan teacher the musical Miss Kadie - oh no you poor dead animal Mr. Beast- 🎶 your a dumb Communist Miss Kadie🎶 Chandler-🎵 yup your one high fluting son of a gun🎵 Mr. Beast- 🎵 I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant🎵 Miss Kadie - 🎵 don’t hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans R us kid🎵 kids- 🎵 we’ve had enough of your problems miss Kadie your such a commie Miss Kadie - 🎵 I just want to die because I’m so sad - Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and comits sucide
whats the difference between life and death......life hurts
Last night I had sex and she said stop talking about shit omg and I made her scream so loud she said her balls Hurt...
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven you’re adopted Haley say like me more than you
My teacher said, ̈Words don ́t hurt! ̈ So I threw my dictionary at her.
Dad: Ill pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie Next day: Dad: son what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen? Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life gosh dad your embarrassing. The dad sulked for 3 whole years Proof that words really can hurt
How to make a orphans hands hurt:make them clap their hands till their parent comes back
i got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit that needle hurt.
