Orchestra

Orchestra Jokes

Pitch

What’s the definition of “perfect pitch?”

Throwing a viola into the dumpster without hitting the rim.

Violist

Why don’t violists play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

Viola

What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?

The viola burns longer.

Viola

What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?

No one cries when they cut up the viola.

Memes

Violist

Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.

Violist

Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.

Conductor

A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."

Player

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?

He woke up and found out it was true.

Conductor

I had an uncle who was a conductor. He wasn’t a symphony conductor, nor was he a street car conductor, nor was he a train conductor. He was struck by lightning.

Paedophile

What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?

Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.

Memes

Spotify

The spotify time bar thing is a light saber when listening to star wars soundtracks

The image shows a screenshot of the Spotify app, displaying a playlist named "Star Wars Soundtracks". The playlist includes songs from the movie "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace". The progress bar is highlighted and resembles a lightsaber.