Hows jokes
If I have ligma and you have ligma, how about you ligma balls? 😏 (It’s all about how you pronounce the end.)
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
How do you get an orphan sad?
You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.
My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.
I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."
How do Chinese parents name their children?
Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.
How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!
How do you make an orphan shut up?
You tell his mom.
How do pirates like their movies?
You already know the answer, don't you?
Well...
ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
How cool is NASA?
Not cool at all.
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?
kick his sister in the jaw
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.