Howe jokes

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said, "No, you won’t return it."

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?

How do you take care of all the babies you just crushed with your car?

Open a pizza shop 🍕

How to commit arson:

1. Burn down an orphanage.

So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"

So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."

Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?

Because they hate how he cares about family.

How do you bury a prostitute?

In a Y-shaped coffin.

Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!

Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.

How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?

Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

Why do women like Pac-Man so much?

How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?

How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.

I made a house for orphans and...

they had no clue how to use it.

How did the British lose the War of 1812?

They were out-Britshed.

How are gay people like mice?

They both hate pussies.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"