Howe jokes
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
How do you anger a democrat?
Don't tell him the truth.
How to not exist: Kys.
*Titanic was sinking.*
Passenger: Hey, captain, how far away are we?
Captain: Two miles.
Passenger: Which way are we going?
Captain: Down.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
Memes
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
How do you know if an Asian is a failure?
Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they sit in the dark and cry.
Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.