Howe jokes
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?
Both of them.
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
Memes
this guy randomly messaged me, but i legit have no idea who tf he is lmao
How does the cheetah do in every race?
It’s always a cheetah.
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.
You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.
How do you call a Goth with feelings?
Emomotional.
How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."