Howe jokes
How do you kill a Hindu? PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
How to kick a deaf person off the plane:
Step 1: Pretend to yell and get some friends to do it, too.
Step 2: Tell your friends to raise both of their hands.
Step 3: He's out of the plane on a parachute.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
Memes
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
How did Helen Keller know she went to hell?
She didn't.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
How do you ground a Gen Z?
Make them go outside and socialize.
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.