Howe jokes
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
You drown it.
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, โAre you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?โ I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
Memes
How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?
"Wanna hang together?"
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
How do 4 gay guys fit on one stool at the same time?
They flip it over.
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I donโt know, son. Iโm still paying for it."
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing, no one cares how much lead is in those kids.
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught on fire.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS!
Whatโs the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!