Howe jokes
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Ask the emo kid: "Hey, how's it hanging?"
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
Memes
How much?
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Me: How do cowboys say hello?
Friend: Howdy.
Me: How do deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
How did the orphan become famous?
By "go[ing] big or go[ing] home."
How do you surprise a blind guy?
Say, "Surprise!"