Howe jokes
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
How is toilet paper recycled?
Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Memes
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
How do you get the emo girl out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
How do blind kids get punished?
By moving the furniture around the house.
Friend: How's it going?
Me: Good, things are good!
Parent: How are you?
Me: Oh, I'm fine!
Twitter: Compose new tweet?
Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
How do you get 1000 followers?
Walk into an African village with a water bottle.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)
Hello, everyone, how is your day today?
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Q: How do you see a bad joke?
A: Look in the mirror.