Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
Howe Jokes
How did the man in prison escape?
He drew a bum on the wall and slid through the crack.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
How do fuck a really fat chick?
Roll her in flour and look for the wet spot.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
I'm not going bungee jumping. I was born by broken rubber, and that's not how I'm going out.
How do you make orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap for their parents to come back.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make it clap until its parents come home.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.
Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
I need more webs and I need more supplies for more webs, how do I make them? With spiders!
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.
