Howe jokes
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Memes
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They gave her a cheese grater and told her it was a book.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
Why was the rapper always calm during a storm?
Because he knew how to RIDE THE FLOW.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he knew how to count his bars!
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
How does a skeleton call his friends?
On the tele-bone!
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
Either way, they’ll kill your dog.
How is [someone] blessed with a 9 inch dick?
That priest is in jail now. Shout out to the church!
How are Black people like communism?
Because they’ll never work, but some of them are willing to give it a shot.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
How do you know Adam and Eve were white?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from black women?