Howe jokes

How do you ride two bikes at once?

You ride them in tandem!

It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.

He was a great vet.

How do people eat bread?

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

How many emos does it take to fix a light?

I don't know because they never came down.

How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?

It depends on how thin you slice them.

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogie in it!

How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?

With a blender.

How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?

Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.

How does Moses brew his coffee?

He brews it.

What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family photo.

Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."

Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)

How many victims does Shaw have?

We don’t know yet. It’s four years and counting.

How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

How do bees get to school?

They go on a school buzz.

How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.