Howe jokes

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a lil' boogie in it ;)

How does an artist fill in a CV?

He draws on experience.

How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.

- What did the skeleton say to his friend?

- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...

Are they just given a quick crash course?

There's a saying that goes, "Only gay men know how to dress." Of course they know how to dress! They were in the closet!

How does a blind person know they've wiped their ass enough?

I was confused when they asked me, "Do you know how to fly a plane?" Then, when I said, "No," they said, "Perfect!"

How do you get a clown off your swing?

You shoot it.

How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?

Satisfying.

So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?

Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"

How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.

How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?

Marry her.

How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?

Ten-tickles!

I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.

My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!

How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?

Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.

Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?