Howe jokes
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
How are the Twin Towers and genders similar? There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Memes
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
How do you annoy Pinocchio?
Ask him, "Do you always tell lies?"
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
Why was Helen Keller truly an inspiration?
She learned how to read and write despite being from Alabama!