Howe jokes
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
How are the Twin Towers and genders similar? There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive subject.
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
Q: How did the skeleton know it would rain? A: He read the weather forecast.
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
Memes
Let's learn arabic!
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.