How do you call a virgin girl in Alabama? An orphan.
Howe Jokes
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress up as the altar boy.
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
How do you make the world’s greatest Harlem Shake?
Throw a flashbang into a room full of epileptics.
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck her hahaha 🤣
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
How did the carpenter do on his interview? He nailed it!
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
