Howe jokes
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic.
Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
How did the gay man die? Homicide.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
My pencil sharpener when I bleed:
And I don't really care how bad it hurts. Cause you broke me first.
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.
Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.
Suicide is just freedom, life is just full of pain... Sometimes if you're gone maybe somebody might notice. Feels like life is a maze and the only way to leave is the exit. Nobody notices your pain, your suffering, and that you try your best though everyone notices your mistakes. Life just feels like everyone hates you. Life for me is just faking smiles, I'm not sure how everyone lives such a good life.
(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?
U shove them down his throat. π€£π
How do you put an end to MeToo? Just fill those combined showers with transgender women.
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, whatβs the minor population?