Howe Jokes

Website

I asked my brother who is autistic how he found his gf. He said on a special website.

Spaghetti

How do you tell the difference between a girl spaghetti and a boy spaghetti?

Meatballs.

People

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

Emo kid

Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Suicide

This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.

Tower

You know how there were like... two towers. I had so much fun playing Jenga in those planes! I WON!!!!!

Drink

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Weight

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

Girl

How to get a girl in three steps:

Step 1: grab a pillow.

Step 2: grab a blanket.

Step 3: keep dreaming.

Bedtime

How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Bubba

A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"

Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"

The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"

Orphan

Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.