Hope jokes

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

Hello everyone, I would just like to apologize for participating in the protest and everything else I said. I was wrong and have recently found a way to see all these jokes as funny. I hope that you all can forgive me. ALYA

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.

It smells like something died in my room, oh yeah, it's my dignity, hope, and my feeling. Put in the corner of my room, they make a decent blanket to wipe my tears.

I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.

Hope this is good!

I hope you see this plugin, but if you're listening to this, I really want to give you a little more...

Hi guys, I am starting a Gwen funny club. If you wanna join, then just type so here. Hope you have fun!

Oh, and also can be a Gwen name club for Gwens only!

Hi, I hope you’re

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?

"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."

Leo might not be the dumbest person in the world... but she’d better hope they don’t DIE!

What is the difference between a grandmother and a maid?

One is hope and the other is soap.

Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.

"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"

Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"

Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."

Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.

I hope I'm not a big pain, but Jordan C, please stop bothering me about my age! I know I am 8 years old, but enough.

Then you make jokes about how smart I am and intimidate me because of my name. I don't remember intimidating you for anything. So please, with all due respect, stop.

PS It's not for drama, it's because you're bullying me for nothing. I come here just to joke or be nice to people, not for the drama. So please again. Stop. That is all I ask.

Thank you.

We have life. I hope we have life. We have God in Jesus Christ. This is a good thing. It is a song part.

What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?

The nun has a soul full of hope...