Square jokes
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
How do you spot an English man in Quebec?
A square head.
So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 8 9.
But why did 7 eat 9?
'Cause you need 3 square meals a day :D
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
'What does it look like?' she finally asked. The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has you picture on it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop..."
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
Why was it so hot in a square room? Because all the corners are 90 degrees.
Why do we put round pizzas in square boxes and eat them as triangles?
We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But do you know why 9 is scared of 7?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day (3 squared).
Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.
Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.
Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.
Girls are like numbers squared. If they're under 13, just do 'em in your head.
Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES math?
2Pac-square