Homeless jokes

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

What do you call two homeless people throwing rocks at each other?

A pillow fight.

The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.

You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.

This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."

Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?

They can't find home plate.

Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?

To get them into his van.

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.

The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."

Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."

So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"

The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"

The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"

What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?

A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?

A parent.

My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.

What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?

Only one gets fuel.

I adopted a dog. It's gone now.

At least homeless people in China are not starving.

Why can't homeless people be gay?

They don't have a closet to get out of.

Q: What was the orphan's first phone?

A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.

A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.

A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"

She says, "I'm going to jump!"

The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"

The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"

The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."

What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?

POORphan

Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.

Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.

A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

What do you call a homeless Hitler?

A roofless dictator.