Homeless jokes
So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.
I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)
Yo mama so poor, the homeless donate to her.
I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
What does the child with no hands get for Christmas? Unknown. He hasn't opened it yet.
What does a homeless man in New York get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
I give bubblegum to the homeless so they can chew it and still be hungry.
You're homeless, you orphan!
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
How do homeless people punish their children?
What are their children going to do? Go to their room?
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
Homeless people live on rocks.
Non-homeless people live in rocks.
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
What do you call a kid with no home?
A homeless kid.
I met a homeless guy named Rich.
He wasn't.
All-star gay mix
Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.
Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.
So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.
The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
What do you call a kid with no home?
A homeless kid.
If you are homeless, get a home.