Homeless jokes
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
How do homeless people move where they're living?
They pick up their box and walk away.
Homeless people live on rocks.
Non-homeless people live in rocks.
Joe mama so fat that she is homeless wit you.
The penalty for a homeless person being caught stealing bread is an expensive, luxurious prison cell, which is located indoors and comes with free bread and water.
Aren't our governments wizards? Scrooge would be proud.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.
Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.
I gave an orphan 5 dollars and I said, "Spend it on a candy bar." I came back 5 minutes later and he didn't have a candy bar. So I look over and I see that he has a piggy bank that has 40 dollars and I said, "Where did you get that?" He said, "For being homeless," and I said, "What are you going to spend it on?" He looked at me and said, "I'm going to pay money for a mother."
Yo mama is so poor, she asked a homeless guy for money.
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
I tried to tell an orphan a knock-knock joke, but sadly, there was no door to knock on.
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.
What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?
A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?
A parent.
My friend looks like a homeless, thanks for the jokes.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
Why can't homeless people be gay?
They don't have a closet to get out of.